How To Date Without Expectations

Bright Paul
4 min readNov 29, 2022


When it comes to expectations when dating, we often set ourselves up for disappointment by having unrealistic anticipations. We might expect that the person we’re on a date with will be our soulmate, or that the date itself will go perfectly. But the truth is, things don’t always go as planned. So how to date without expectations? As an international dating coach, I explain in my post how to have no expectations in a relationship and still find happiness!

Expectations when dating vs reality

When it comes to courting, having no expectations in dating is key. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be excited about going out with someone new, but it does mean that you should keep your expectations in check. Reality often falls, so it’s important to manage them accordingly.

As a dating coach, I often hear from my clients who are disappointed after a date because it didn’t meet their expectations. They’ve been hoping for sparks to fly or for the person to be their perfect match.

But the reality is that sometimes people just don’t connect, no matter how great they seem at first sight.

In order to save time and energy, I often recommend mail order brides sites where you can first find a suitable partner by their profile data and online communication, and only then go on a real date. It’s important to remember that dating is a process of trial and error. Who knows, but one in six newlyweds is married to someone of a different race or ethnicity.

Dating with no expectations: how does that work

Here I’ll try to explain what dating with no expectations means:

  • You’re not looking for anything in particular, and you’re just seeing where things go. This can be a great way to meet new people and explore different types of relationships.
  • You still have some idea of what you want out of a relationship, even if you’re not looking for anything specific. Of course, having no expectations when dating doesn’t mean that you should have any goals.
  • You relax and enjoy the process. It’s also a good way to get to know yourself better. After all, when you’re not looking for anything in particular, you’re more likely to be open to new experiences and people.

So, if you’re feeling like you’re ready to try something new, I’ll teach you how to give dating with no expectations a shot! You never know what might happen!

How to date without expectations: 5 steps to take

I often hear from men and women who want to know how to not have expectations in relationships. They worry that if they don’t have any expectations, they’ll end up being disappointed or heartbroken.

I’m here to tell you that it’s possible to date without expectations and still have a great time! Here are five tips on how to do it:

1. Don’t expect perfection. Everyone has flaws and nobody is perfect. If you go on a date expecting perfection, you’re likely to be disappointed. Instead, focus on getting to know the person and seeing if there’s a potential for a good bond.

2. Don’t expect instant chemistry. Just because you don’t feel a strong connection right away doesn’t mean it’s not there. Sometimes it takes a little time to get to know someone before the chemistry starts to build.

3. Don’t expect to always agree. It’s normal to disagree with someone on some things. If you go on a date expecting complete understanding, you’re likely to be disappointed. Instead, try to focus on finding common ground and learning from each other’s perspectives.

4. Don’t expect the relationship to progress quickly. Every relationship moves at its own pace. If you’re expecting things to move too fast, you may end up feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. Instead, take things slow and enjoy getting to know the person without putting pressure on yourselves.

5. Don’t expect to always have fun. While it’s great to have fun outside dates, there will be times when you or your companion don’t feel like doing anything. That’s okay! If you’re expecting to always have fun, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, focus on enjoying the time you spend together and getting to know each other better.

Dating without expectations doesn’t mean you can’t hope for the best or that you won’t get your heart broken. It just means that you’re going into the relationship with an open mind and no preconceived notions of what it should be like. Believe me as your mentor, by doing this, you’re more likely to find happiness and satisfaction in whatever comes your way.



Bright Paul

Paul Sanders is a professional dating expert who has been working in the industry for 8 years.